3 Steps To Build Christian Grey's Confidence For Your Career (And Life)

Updated: May 10, 2020

"The key to my success has been in identifying talented individuals and harnessing their efforts..."

Who Is Mr. Grey?

Christian Gray is a fictional character from the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. During his childhood, he endured a tremendous amount of violence due to the upbringing of his drug-addicted prostitute of a mother and her pimp. His mother's pimp would consistently beat them both, put out cigarettes on Christian's skin, thus leaving him scars on his chest. This occurred consistently until the age of 4 when she suffered a fatal drug overdose.

For about 4 days, he was left alone, confused, and starving trying to wake up his mother. He was eventually found by emergency services and was later adopted by the doctor who aided him at the hospital, Grace Grey. Throughout the course of his childhood and adolescent years, he would burst out in many emotional fits of rage which resulted in numerous physical altercations. On top of that, he was also a severe alcoholic.

Until one day, he becomes a submissive to his mother's friend, Eleanor, for 6 years. Eventually, the relationship resulted in a brutal termination. As a result, he moved on to study economics and politics at Harvard but dropped out after some time to start a company of his own. Through hard work, grit, and determination, he then became a billionaire by the age of 27.

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Why Does Mr. Grey's Back Story Matter?

You have a back story as much as Christian Grey. Growing up, he had the odds stacked against him and like any other person who went through a series of traumatic events, he could've used them as excuses to keep him at the bottom.

He entered the world of BDSM to channel his emotions, which gave him clarity. You need to find a method that does the same.

Whether your current emotions are anger, sadness, or guilt, find a way to clarify your true life's purpose and take it. To build the confidence Christian Grey has, you need to be able to channel your anchoring feelings into productivity. And as your productive actions yield results, the people looking in will start to trust you and your abilities to get the job done. Here's how you'll start...

Step 1) Admit To Yourself You Have A Problem

The only way you can move forward in life is to admit to yourself you have flaws. Christian Gray's flaw was his anger, reckless behavior, and drinking. You may have the same or something completely different, but in order to take control of your life, you need to control your emotions. The way you build confidence isn't with the fanciest suit or nicest car, it's with the trust other people have in you. Getting their trust only happens if you're not pushing your problems onto them.

Step 2) Take Action To Eliminate That Problem

Once you find the problem, eliminate it as fast as possible. This could be you being a people pleaser, spending your money frivolously, or binge-drinking at happy hour every day after work. Stop doing the shit! People can't trust you if you are doing the things that convey distrust. Confidence is a two-way street. For example, if you're a financial analyst with a gambling problem, it's going to prove very difficult for your bosses to handle a multi-million dollar account.

Step 3) Disregard Haters & Their Opinion

When people find out you're working to eliminate your problems, or maybe they start shunning you for the success they wish they could have, don't let their bullshit affect your aspirations. You've worked hard to get to where you currently are and the opinions of sheep are unphased to wolves. You are a wolf; you are an alpha. You control the pack and the pack's actions because you can control your own.


Building Christian Gray's confidence occurs when you can start leading yourself. The goals you wish to obtain require self-discipline, humbleness, and attitude. Add on the trust you acquired from others, you can know to stack their confidence in you your platform to move your career and life forward. With this, acquiring the love, power, respect, and competence you desire is near effortless. All you have to do is keep stacking on and moving forward. Right?

To Your Success,

Cristian Gray

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Are you currently struggling to control your emotions?

Check out this book. Inside you can learn to become self-aware of your emotions and socially aware of the emotions from other people. By the end, you'll have the opportunity to not only manage your emotions but take lead for the relationships of other people.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves



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